The Hardest Thing is Remembering
February 9th– day that completely changed my life. It should be like any other day but it’s not, why? It’s the day that one of the most important people in my life passed away, something that I wasn’t ready for.
When my mom passed away, it left a big impact on my life that years later it still affects me and probably will for the rest of my life. For some people it can all seem a blur but for me that wasn’t the case. I remember everything like it just happened yesterday.
So when February comes around, it changes me. It’s like a big cloud hangs over me for this whole month, pouring down rain and hail. I know it sounds dramatic but it literally feels that way, but the depression and sadness stays for weeks until one day it ends.
This year even though the depression lasted a good month and a half it was different because I let my friends in and they stepped up to be there for me when I couldn’t be there for myself. They encouraged me to participate in stuff I didn’t want to, pushed me in school, and made me care when I didn’t want to anymore. They stuck by me through this whole time, knowing that I would eventually go back to my normal self.
People say as time goes on it gets easier, but that’s a lie and that’s far from the truth. The truth is that no matter how much time passes by, you still miss their presence especially when they played an important role in your life.
Missing them doesn’t go away and it doesn’t get easier over time but what you do learn is how to cope with the loss. Everyone copes differently and over time you learn how to deal with the pain of losing them but the wonder of how life would’ve been if they were still alive is something you always think about.
All I know is another year has passed without her and I still feel her absence every single day. The hardest thing isn’t missing her but remembering her and wishing she was still here.
