Wondering why I haven’t posted anything in months? Me too.
It’s 1:42am and I had the urged to write after I realized that my blog’s contract to renewal ended today. After a quick panic attack thinking that my blog was lost forever, I realized that I wasn’t done sharing.
If I wasn’t done sharing then why hadn’t I shared anything since April? I’ve once again fallen into a state of depression with a million worries consuming me daily.
Doubting myself and my future was my number one thought this whole summer. So what did I do besides worry like crazy about this….I reflected.
I took a step back and I looked at my life…my career goals, my lifestyle, friends, etc. And what did I realize, you ask? A lot of things but there was one thing that stood out from the rest. My happiness… which to be honest didn’t really exist.
“Aren’t you being a bit dramatic?” No, I’m not…okay maybe a little I guess.
The real question is, if I’ve made an effort to be more happy? Because I realized that everything starts with yourself. If you don’t like something, then you have the decision to change it, because if you don’t no one else will do it for you.
So what did I do…I changed stuff in my life because I want to be as happy as I can be.
And now I have a workout routine which was hard to start but with time and commitment it became part of my daily routine. And this made a huge difference in my life (Exercise post coming soon!) I’ve changed my diet too but that one is still a challenge.
I’ve also began some hobbies again like reading and journaling. Which I’ve always had the excuse of not having enough time to do either but I’ve made the time even if it’s reading while I wait to pick up my brother from school.
Another hobby I hope to start again is biking. I’ve always loved to bike since I was a little girl and once I fix my bike I’ll do it regularly.
I love having hobbies that keep me active rather than watching Netflix/Hulu all day. Hobbies are great stress relievers and I definitely needed to re-pick them up!
I also realized that I don’t like my room anymore. My room’s decorations do not define who I want to be as an adult so I’ve decided to re-decorate! Maybe not re-paint my walls because that’s a lot of work & I still love lilac/pink. But definitely box up stuff and give things away. I can’t wait to share my re-decorating process!
Another thing that I reflected on was the people I spend time with. I think this past year I realized who truly are my friends. And I need to make more of an effort to hang out with them. I value their friendships and want to continue being friends for many more years.
Then there is the big thing in my life that I worry about the most: my career. My first journalism job, I quit recently because I was unhappy. This was a hard decision but at the end it was the right one. Now I am currently looking for another job and it is very hard. At times I feel very discouraged but in my heart I know this is what I want to do. And no matter how long it takes I will not give up because I can do it and I know my time will come.
“So with all these new changes in your life, are you now happy?”
Define happy!? I think happiness comes from a place where you really are truly content with where you are in life and do not need to make “changes” to find happiness because you are already there.
For me being “happy” is a bit challenging for me. But that is another post for another time. With these new changes I made…yes I am happy for now. 🙂
It’s crazy to think I started this blog 2 years ago to share my experiences. I thought I was done writing on here but I definitely am not. There is still so much I want to share and I hope you guys continue reading because this is just the beginning to something great.
Love Always,
Lidia
P.S. I definitely learned my lesson on not waiting to renew last minute!
