Summer 2020

When One Door Closes, Another Opens

So much has happened in these past three months that it still doesn’t seem real. I’m still grasping with the aftermath of what this summer held for me but as I continue with the the rest of the year, I have a new perspective and appreciation for where I am in life.

In the beginning of the year, I said I had exciting news to share but unfortunately those plans changed as the pandemic began. I pulled my Spanish Assistant application mid-March and I didn’t get into two journalism programs. So I settled into my back up plan, teaching journalism or Spanish. And this is how my summer went….

June

(Birthday Month)

I mentally prepared to have a quarantine birthday since the pandemic began. But by the time June came around, I wasn’t really looking forward to celebrating my birthday. I was still upset and disappointed that I pulled my Spain application and got rejected from the journalism programs. I tried to see the positive out of this situation and I focused on getting my teaching certification.

This whole month I spend finishing my teaching modules, observations, and attending zoom teacher interviews. With the support of my family and friends, I was able to finish everything. Then I got a teaching offer at my alma mater and I thought that things were finally changing for me…but that wasn’t the case.

July

(Change of Plans)

I got the best teaching position that I could’ve ever wanted but then I had to give it up. Long story short, the Texas Governor exempted state exams due to the pandemic so school districts could hire new teachers but the Spanish exam was 1 of 2 state exams that were not exempted. So I had to take the Spanish exam but the real problem was there was limited testing sites that offered that exam. My teacher program wasn’t able to approve me for the Spanish in time so I wasn’t able to take the exam before the deadline my school district gave me to turn in all of my teaching paperwork. Once again, I felt like everything was against me!

You know that saying, “Everything happens for a reason,” well I hate it because it’s so overused (literally everyone says it all the time) but it’s so very true.

I reconnected with a college friend and that conversation reminded me of the journalist I wanted to become. I realized that I still wanted to purse my dream of being a journalist but I stopped believing in myself. After I quit my magazine job, I went months and months going to interviews and was not able to secure a new job which left me with a lack of confidence.

The pandemic put me in a place where I had to make a choice and I decided to be a responsible adult even if it meant putting my dream on hold. But what I didn’t realized is by making this decision, I was choosing to settle.

I decided to settle into a comfortable lifestyle in which I would have a good full time job but would I be happy? I have a huge respect for teachers- everything that they go through from training to lesson planning to forming a good relationship with their students- they truly are not given enough credit for all that they do.

Being a teacher is important and I know I can positively impact students but since I started the teacher program, I had this feeling that this didn’t feel right. And deep down, maybe I knew I was settling and that’s why I felt uneasy. When I called my AP to give up my position, I was truly upset but then there was a feeling of relief.

She reminded me this was the perfect time to risk it all and work hard to make my dream into a reality just like she was trying to do. Finally someone that understood me! I will forever be thankful to Nancy for our one hour phone call that motivated me to continue fighting for my dream.

Thanks to Nancy, she put me in contact with her mentor, Ray whom I also had a life changing conversation with. Talking to Ray, I finally found someone who understood the challenges that I faced after college. As a Latina first-generation graduate who was trying to be a journalist, I realized that I wasn’t as prepared like I should’ve been (but that’s another blog post for another time). After talking to Ray, I felt that spark that I lost over the past months return again.

This was the sign I was waiting for and Ray set me on the correct path again. He gave me some great advice and I began to work on stories again. I retaught myself how to edit video, look for news worthy stories, go into the community and interview strangers but most importantly I regained the confidence I lost.

I didn’t realize how much I missed it but I did. And after a really long time…I finally felt happy doing what I love again. So when some things don’t work out, it’s okay to be upset but don’t dwell on it because there is something better waiting for you around the corner.

August

(Life is Short)

I went into August with a new confidence, feeling like I was finally where I’m suppose to be in life. And then something unexpected happened which made me take a step back.

My uncle unexpected passed away. His death has left a void in all of our hearts and it still doesn’t feel real. I would’ve never thought he would be the next person to go but he was.

I miss him a lot because he was one of the few people who I knew I could talk to without any judgement. But even though I am heartbroken about his passing, I am at peace because I know he has finally found happiness and is no longer in pain.

His death is a reminder that life is short and we should all enjoy it to the fullest. This makes me want to fight even harder for my dream as a journalist and not settle for anything less.

As the years past, I know Summer 2020 will be a period in my life that I look back to and say this was a moment in my life that changed the course of my life. I chose not to settle and instead I began to fight again to make a little girl’s dream into a reality.